…be love…

I don’t have a whole lot of money, I don’t have a big house or fancy toys. I may be getting old, my hair is falling out, most days I look and feel three times my age, more often than not I lack motivation to do things I really want to, some days I would win the mother-of-the-year award, other days I beg for them to just leave me alone. I’m probably not living up to my potential, and sometimes I can be really mean. I’m wrong a lot, and can say and do hurtful things.
But… I’m not fake. What you see is what you get with me. I do not try to pretend to be someone I’m not, because just like I can see right through the act of so many, I know they could see thru mine. sometimes I mess up, but I do my best to be a good, kind and decent human. I’m grateful for the things I have, my small home and awesome family. I love with every fiber of being without any expectation of return. There is no agenda for me to care about you or to help you. I don’t love you only when it’s convenient and I love you more when it’s hard to. When you are dishonest or do things to hurt me, I probably won’t say anything because I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter anyway because if I do speak up it, somehow makes me the asshole. So I’ll be quiet and stay away. That doesn’t make me weak it makes me real.
I listen when I’ve hurt someone, and I apologize. But I can’t if they don’t tell me. I try hard to hear criticism and take it as a helpful guide to do and be better. But I will brush it aside if it’s made just to be mean. I do my best not to judge anyone. I don’t believe that I am better than anyone, I only try to be a better me. I strive to be a safe and open place for friends, family and even strangers to come when they need someone to care.
I am honest, sometimes brutally so, but I’m told that is a good thing. I’m not so sure though…truth doesn’t have to be brutal. It’s all in the delivery.
You have to earn my trust and respect, it’s not hard to do but once they are gone it’s hard to get them back. I’m a lover of facts, knowledge and wisdom. I am continually learning and growing…a perpetual student. Most recently I have become a volunteer, champion and defender of human rights and freedom. And it feels great.
I have learned that I am the Captain of my ship, people can only hurt me if I let them. I am liberated from toxic people who would have me believe that I am less than them. The day I learned that was the best day of my life.
I cultivate kind, loving, positive and mutually respectful friendships and work hard to keep negative people and things from me and my family. I don’t need to lie about who I am and who I am not, because I am at a peace with who I am…imperfectly me.
So while I may not be perfect, and sometimes I screw up…I am real and true. I am kind and have compassion and empathy. I strive to help whoever I can however I can, and if I can’t help them I find someone who can.
I do not spread hate or lies or conspiracy theories to force my agenda, I share my opinion, thoughts and feelings and invite others to do the same even if I may not agree. I respect everyone’s right to their opinion even if I don’t respect the opinion. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, just not their own facts. I don’t judge, I love and accept people for exactly who they are regardless of whether I agree let not. I choose what comes into my space and I choose kindness and compassion over hate, ridicule, fear, and lies.
It’s not an easy thing to look in the mirror and say “I’m fucked up” and it’s even harder to do that and then change. It’s much easier to continue pointing the finger at those who hold the mirror.

Be real…be kind…be humble…

…be LOVE…